She Flies Through The Air

...with the greatest of ease.

This must be what Hyacinth Hippo felt like in Fantasia.

That's what I was thinking.

Right before,

"Holy cow!  This is REALLY gonna hurt!"

and then

"$KJ%LK@#JKL@#$JK@L#"

Boom.

Good.  I've stopped.

Wait!

No!

No.

No we aren't stopping!!!

Yup.

I'm going to hit that concrete with my face.

My teeth broke my fall.

Luckily, my teeth did not break.

But,

let me tell you.

They hurt.

And I was not smiling.

And now I'm laying face down here.

But instead of noticing

"Wow.  We really need to scrape and paint that trim on the door."

It looked more like this:

After assessing the damage done to my body.

I ascertained if I could actually get up and make it back inside.

My husband works nights and he was upstairs getting ready to leave.

If I was laying on the concrete in the back he wouldn't notice it.

He'd assume that I was next door at my neighbor Susan's house.

I had to get myself back inside.

I'm telling you.

I HURT!!

And my foot was bleeding.

I busted my lip.

Scraped my cheek.

Because.

Because I tripped off of this!

A six inch stoop!!

A child can step off of a six inch stoop

and not injure him or herself.

Not me.

All I wanted to do was take some photos

of a pair of earrings I had made.

One trip and

I'm flying through the air.

It was a lovely swan dive.

And my first thought was-

 I wanted to protect my beloved camera.

So I twisted my body to cradle it's fall.

I came down hard on my knees and side 

and then smacked my face full force

into the concrete.

Good news.

The camera

is fine!

My right foot is fine.

My ankle is sprained a bit.

But my left foot?

Well, let's just say that

any chances I may have had

of being a foot model

are over.

I wrapped my poor bleeding foot up in a towel.

I headed to the couch to lie down.

I had my leg sticking straight up in the air.

You know.

To elevate it higher than my heart.

I'm crying.

I hurt.

I'm humiliated (because it was STUPID)

My face is scraped.

My lips are swollen.

And,

I look like someone wailed the tar OUT OF ME!

Now.

Hold that picture in your head a moment.

WHEN

my husband went upstairs to get ready for work

he left me in the kitchen washing dishes.

The next time he sees me

just a short 30 minutes later.

I'm laying on the couch.

A blood soaked towel is on my foot.

The visual I just gave you is before him.

He stands and looks at me.

Incredulous!

It must've been a sight.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!!!!"

So.

What would you do, if your husband asked you?