The Case of the Butterglass Shards

She knew the way to do it.

She had thought it through.

She had consulted experts, even.

And a few unscrupulous men

who would do it for a few pennies

or for their own amusement.

She had even purchased the tools.

Yes.

She was attempting to cut her own glass.

In her kitchen.

Not realizing two things.

One,

that cut, broken glass is very sharp.

Two,

that the butter dish was

terribly,

awfully,

dangerously

close to her...

As she scored the glass

per the instructions,

then grasped the scored piece of glass

with the pliers and

snapped thusly -

two things happened.

Broken shards flew into the butter.

And -

she needed to locate

the box of

bandaids.

1 inch wide for extra coverage.

That should do it.

Glass cutting 101.

If at first you don't succeed,

try, try again.

Then give-up.

There's no sense in being a fool about it.

I've been cutting up teacups and plates

for a while now.

Making jewelry with

nary a bloodstain to be had.

Glass, well,

glass is

different.

I'm still practicing.

This song comes to mind.

I'm going to go bake more cookies

for the staff at the E.R. now.