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The blog banner was made with elements from Lorie Davison. The nail head is Mo Jackson, the white rabbit and the key is Tangie Baxter. The butterflies are from Katie Pertiet.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Sometimes

... in the dark of the night
when the scary thoughts come


Sometimes when you are laying
 face down on hot pavement
 feeling foolish and broken...


Sometimes when you feel all alone,
Friends are there.



They bring you  fresh berries.
They help with your pain.
They offer solace in a pub over tacos and beer.
They call  and send  emails concerned about your well being.
They stop in  to see how you really are.


And sometimes
the world is just a little brighter,


and softer, 
and gentler.
And that concrete wasn't so hard after all.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Pssst! - Max Here

Come closer-




No. No. NO.
That's TOO close.


That's better.  I'm down here now.

There's only 3 more days to use the coupon code

BLOGGERBUDDY2011

You get 20 percent off.

For every dollar spent
a carrot will be purchased for me.

I get ALL the carrots I can eat...

Shhhhhh...
Here she comes!

Everyone JUST ACT NATURAL!!!



Hmmmm...
That's weird.
Wonder how that rabbit ended up on here?


Don't forget.
It ends June 30th.
Say this to yourself,
"Max needs carrots."
"Max needs carrots."

Friday, June 24, 2011

Where's Alice?

It's the day of Vanessa's Fanciful Twist Tea Party!!
Tea party plans had been made.
Max the Bunny and I went on a search for Alice.

Max asked the stone white rabbit
on the front porch if he'd seen Alice.
He just remained stoic.
And silent.
Max thinks he's a snob.


She doesn't appear to be in this pot
said Max.
Of course not, I said.
That would just be ridiculous.
And besides.
Alice in pot sounds so 70's.



Do you think she's in chains somewhere?
said Max.

Har-de-har-har.
Alice in Chains.
Very funny, Max.
Says I.


I'll look in here.
PEE-U
It smells awful.


Boy-oh-boy.
If she's in here she's sure gonna smell ripe.


That's not a very nice thing to say, Max.


What about here?  At least she won't stink
 if she's been in the flowers,
said Max.

Keen insight, Max
says I.


You gonna help 
or are you just going to stand there
making astute observations?


Let's ask the Hedgehogs.
Say, you fellows seen Alice?
.......
No. huh?
Well, you keep munching on those bugs 
and thanks for the offer but we've already eaten.
ewwww....
C'mon Max.
Let's get out of here.


Excuse me.
Have you seen Alice?
No.
Well, you certainly are invited to the party anyway.
Just follow us.


Howdy-Do Mr. Cheshire Cat.
Want to join the


WHOA
Where'd he GO?!
That's creepy.


Well, let's get this party started.
Alice or no Alice.


Out of the cup, Max.

And where was Alice after all of that?
Why in Paris, of course.
She went to see the Eiffel Tower.

And bring back macarons!



For reading all the way through
I'm having a give-away.
I'll pick a winner
for this necklace:
Alice in Wonderland's Cheshire Cat - We're ALL Mad with  Vintage Teapot Charm

One week from today
July 2!

Am I entirely mad?
I'm afraid so.
You are entirely bonkers.
But, I'll tell you a story.
All the best people are.




Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Princess And The Frog


Once upon a time,
a beautiful, intelligent, self assured princess
wandering through the royal gardens
happened upon a frog.


The frog looked up at the princess and said,
I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me.
She turned me into the frog you see before you.
The frog prince hung his head and sighed.


One kiss from you and I will turn
back into a prince!



Then we can marry!
We'll move back into my castle with my mom!!
You can prepare my meals, bear my children, clean up after me,
launder my clothes, nurse my hangovers, maintain my golf clubs,
and forever feel happy doing so!




That night 
while the princess dined on frog legs
she kept laughing and saying
"I don't think so!"

The End.



Thank you for everyone's well wishes.
It was appreciated.


Saturday, June 18, 2011

She Flies Through The Air

...with the greatest of ease.
This must be what Hyacinth Hippo felt like in Fantasia.


That's what I was thinking.

Right before,

"Holy cow!  This is REALLY gonna hurt!"

and then

"$KJ%LK@#JKL@#$JK@L#"

Boom.

Good.  I've stopped.

Wait!

No!

No.

No we aren't stopping!!!

Yup.

I'm going to hit that concrete with my face.

My teeth broke my fall.
Luckily, my teeth did not break.
But,
let me tell you.
They hurt.


And I was not smiling.



And now I'm laying face down here.
But instead of noticing
"Wow.  We really need to scrape and paint that trim on the door."

It looked more like this:


After assessing the damage done to my body.
I ascertained if I could actually get up and make it back inside.
My husband works nights and he was upstairs getting ready to leave.
If I was laying on the concrete in the back he wouldn't notice it.
He'd assume that I was next door at my neighbor Susan's house.
I had to get myself back inside.
I'm telling you.
I HURT!!
And my foot was bleeding.
I busted my lip.
Scraped my cheek.
Because.
Because I tripped off of this!

A six inch stoop!!
A child can step off of a six inch stoop
and not injure him or herself.
Not me.
All I wanted to do was take some photos
of a pair of earrings I had made.
One trip and
I'm flying through the air.
It was a lovely swan dive.
And my first thought was-

 I wanted to protect my beloved camera.

So I twisted my body to cradle it's fall.
I came down hard on my knees and side 
and then smacked my face full force
into the concrete.

Good news.

The camera
is fine!


My right foot is fine.
My ankle is sprained a bit.
But my left foot?
Well, let's just say that
any chances I may have had
of being a foot model
are over.

I wrapped my poor bleeding foot up in a towel.
I headed to the couch to lie down.
I had my leg sticking straight up in the air.
You know.
To elevate it higher than my heart.
I'm crying.
I hurt.
I'm humiliated (because it was STUPID)
My face is scraped.
My lips are swollen.

And,
I look like someone wailed the tar OUT OF ME!

Now.
Hold that picture in your head a moment.


WHEN
my husband went upstairs to get ready for work
he left me in the kitchen washing dishes.

The next time he sees me
just a short 30 minutes later.

I'm laying on the couch.
A blood soaked towel is on my foot.
The visual I just gave you is before him.

He stands and looks at me.
Incredulous!
It must've been a sight.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!!!!"

So.

What would you do, if your husband asked you?


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Last Dance For Mary Jane

It wasn't the blood that stunned the well seasoned female detective 
when she first viewed the crime scene.


It was the number of times the gun had been fired.
Twenty-one.
The exact number of years that Mary Jane
had spent on this earth.
Someone's mighty mad to pull the trigger
twenty-one times.
Not to mention the number of times
that person had to reload.


The diamond engagement ring was still at the crime scene, too.
That was odd.
You'd think that the perpetrator would've taken that with him.
Sort of a souvenir of the entire incident.


Bits of Mary Jane's red corsage were scattered
all over the back alley of the dance hall
where her body lay.
Well,where bits of her body lay.
There were flower bits and Mary Jane bits.
With the red flowers it was not easy
to tell which bits were which.


The detective took a cigarette out of her case.
She put it to her lips and looked around for a match.
Ted's Billiards.
That's what the matchbook said.
Mary Jane didn't seem like the kind of gal
that hung out at a billiard joint.
And yet, that pack of matches
was lying right next to the body.
Someone had thrown the book of matches
at Mary Jane as the ultimate insult.
"Why you're worth no more than this pack of matches."
"And they were free."
But then, thought the detective,
maybe Mary Jane had been too.

One thing's for certain.
There'd be no
Bride Bingo being played at
this girl's party.
No sir.


Someone had meant for Mary Jane
to dance her last dance
and cover her last bingo square.
Someone
had wanted
Mary Jane
DEAD.



Mary Jane may not be dancing or playing Bride Bingo anymore
but the detective was sure
 there were enough clues left
to find out
just who was
the last person
to see
Mary Jane Hopkins
ALIVE!

(Mary Jane's Last Dance Necklace available in my Etsy Shop)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Don't Call The Fire Department

This is just a quicky blog post.
My husband has been threatening.
To call in the fire department that is
 for an intervention.
Apparently, they do that sort of thing.
Let you know that your house
has the potential for a
hazardous fire.
Naw.  I just made that up.
But, I do need to weed.
That's what we call getting rid of books at the library.
Weeding.
So I'm trying
Really.
To get rid of some of it.
Baby steps.
For me.
I love my paper stuff.
Some day, I'll tell you why.
It's in my blood and DNA.
I was raised in a paper store.
And that is a true story.
Well not IN the paper store, exactly.
That would just be weird.

I have some really cool stuff.
Some of it is in my Etsy shop.
Just 1 pack so far.
And it can be yours.

Baby steps...